More Facts about me...

This one time I am dialing wrong number but when I hear girl on other line with sexy voice I try and make the conversation with her. But she is getting angry and is also turning out to be daughter of ACP so I am little bit screwed.

When I go on date with girls then I am always taking care of the bill because I am hoping that they will be taking care of me later on in the night ;)

There is no one in this world as cool as me. Girls should be happy I am taking time out to woo them.

When I take girls out to long drive, I purposely shut my car off on lonely highway and tell to them that there is no petrol in my car.

If I ask girl to go camping I tell them that I have only 1 sleeping bag.

I like to surf Internet for cool pickup lines to use on girls I meet. They work man!

If you buy girls presents then they have to say yes to everything you ask them to do.

Puppies are HUGE chick magnets. Take a puppy out for a walk and girls surround you to pet your puppy and if you’re lucky maybe more.

I like to watch all girl life guards in Baywatch. I especially like it when the run on beach and give mouth to mouth.

People are saying I am shallow but that’s not true. I am wanting to know girls from outside and inside also.

ONE-WAY LOVER DESPO –

I love you always, forever, until eternity.
I make mixed tape with romantic songs for all girls I like.
I want to know EVERYTHING about your life.
I am the favourite customer at Archies.
I want to walk into sunset with you all days of my life.
I want to be with you in afternoon of my youth, the evening of my middle age and nighttime of my old years.
My favourite movie Love Actually.
My birthday is on Feb 14. The day of love.

My Lines that never fail... ;)

DIRECTORY DESPO

Sorry I am losing my phone number, can I borrow yours?
Hi sweety, can you give me directions...to your heart?


ONE-WAY LOVER DESPO

So what you’re hobbies are? Mines are falling in love.
Hi baby, I'm raindrop coz I'm falling for you.

My various Avatars...

BADE BAAP KI AULAAD DESPO –

* If you come out on a date with me I’ll show you fireworks baby!
* That was my driver on the phone. He said my new Astin Martin has run out of gas.
* Let’s go for a long long long drive and hopefully we’ll run out of gas

DIRECTORY DESPO –

* In Pandora baby, we are mates for life…
* I only buy mobiles that take good MMS.
* I add you on Facebook, I add you on Orkut, I add you on Big Adda, I follow you on Twitter and in person also

X-RAY EYES DESPO –

* I am wanting to know you from outside and inside also
* People say I am shallow but I telling you I can go very very deep
* You bring out the animal in me!

Despo Facts

My favourite song is “Choli Ke Peeche Kya Hai’ and ‘I Like Big Butts and I Cannot lie’. Very meaningful lyrics.

Girls, if I am staring at your chest I am only appreciating what god is being generous and giving to you.

Girls you must feel honoured that I am bestowing attention on you. I usually spend my time only with special people.

It’s ok if you have boyfriend, husband or even baby. I am very easy-going like that.

Definition of HAUNTY– A Hot Aunty ;)

My favourite comic book is Savita Bhabhi

I am thinking of myself as a metrosexual. I live in a metro and I am very very sexual ;)

Girls when you say you are tied up, do you mean with handcuffs?

Priya Once Again...

I am deciding to try and say sorry for Priya once again. So I am going to Gullu’s building and again sending sorry note and one rose with Gullu’s brother, Raju to Priya’s house. But when he is coming back, he is telling she is tearing my sorry letter and throwing the flower in dustbin. He gives for me the pieces of my sorry letter. I am so sad and I am not knowing what to do. I am talking to Gullu and he tells she will come down in some time as she is going for classes at 5.00 pm. So I wait around and decide that when I see her, I will beg for her forgiveness and tell for her what had happened. But when I am seeing her and going to tell for her sorry, before that only she is giving me one tight slap. And saying you bloody rascal, don’t ever talk for me again or I am calling for my father and telling him to put you in jail. Gullu is also telling me to go home now, so I go away.
My love story has got over even before started. What a sad thing, I am losing only girl who is liking me. My sapnon ki raani has gone forever.

Hello all

You know I have already got my first audition, it is for underwear brand. When I am telling mummjii, she is shocked and tells beta how can u only wear underwear and come on the TV. But I am telling for her don’t worry; even big stars are doing ads like this. And when all will see me on TV, then I will be famous and get many girls. So I dress my best and go for the audition screening. Mummiji is also gone to temple to pray that I get this ad.
When I enter the studio, there are many guys waiting over there who are also coming for audition. Some are looking ok, but me DJ is always looking the best. I sit on sofa and wait for receptionist to call my name. Another boy is also sitting on the sofa. He is coming little close and asking me what is my name and if I am coming for audition, I say yes. Then he is talking to me about how he has done so many ads and can get me some ads also. He tells why we don’t meet for coffee. I am thinking why he is asking like date? But I want to do the ads, so I say ok and give for him my number. Then receptionist calling his name and he goes in. Then another boy is coming near my side and talking to me, he asks if I know about the boy who has just gone in. I am telling no, then he is telling me that the boy who was just talking to me is gay. Arre baba, I am so shocked. I am baba not like that, I like for girls and now I am very worried and nervous that so many gay boys are around me.

Valentine bluesss….

It is Valentine’s Day and I am all by myself, sad and lonely. I am not having any girlfriend and all my friends are going out with their raani. But I cannot go out of house also as I have told all friends that I am going on date with pretty girl today as I am not wanting them to laugh at me because I am alone. So I am sitting at home with mummiji and daddiji. Then someone is ringing door bell and I am going to see who has come. There is delivery boy and he gives me flowers, chocolates and cards. I am surprised but I cannot tell for you how happy I am. At last I will get a Valentine.
Then delivery boy says sign for the gifts, but the name is wrong, there is some Amit Kumar written. I ask delivery boy why name is wrong. So he tells name is right, the gifts are for Amit Kumar. And then he asks what my name is? I tell it is DJ. Then he is snatching all gifts from me and saying oh, very sorry mistake became wrong; this is for your neighbor Amit Kumar. I am so sad that I am feeling like crying. I get angry for him and tell him to get lost. Bloody idiot. I go and sit in my room and watching TV. All the channels are showing about love, girlfriends & boyfriends and all this. I am fed up. I decide I will put my profile on matrimonial site and then I will definitely get some girl. Any girl will be fine, even not pretty one, even chubby or little dark types is fine. After all as I am hearing my friend say something is better than nothing. So by next Valentine I am 100 percent sure that I am not going to be all alone again and tomorrow I am also going to temple and putting 100 rupees donation for God and asking that my raani will come soon in my life. I know God will grant my wish soon.

Just Shoot Me!

Today was the day that I became a star – a Bollywood star! What totally awesome time I am having today. Best it was. So I went in morning to studio all set for the stardom. First make up girl put all makeup on me like foundation and all. She is cute. She even put some lipstick. I was telling, ‘arre kya kar rahi hai?? Mad or what?” Then she was telling that all stars also put the makeup and the lipstick. So then I say ok. After makeup is done then I am looking very good yaar. I have chai and all and then change into first set of clothes – full on leather, boots, jacket, pants, cowboy hat and all. I look damn hot yaar. Even photographer is saying. Makeup girl is checking out at me.
I am on the fire man! I am striking all the poses of Salman I see in Stardust, FIlmfare magazine and all. On my knees I went, holding hair I did, looking mean, romantic full on poses I did. Then I changed into next change – white shirt and blue jeans. More poses I shot superbly. Bu then lunch time it was and I asked makeup girl if she wants to go be going with me for the lunch. She said no but I think she is playing hard to get. Anyways good she said no coz my mummy gave me aalu ka parathas. After lunch then few more shots and then finished. I saw pictures on photographers laptop. He said he will do some work on it and send me. I really look like Salman Khan in some of them yaar! This is going to get for me lots of dates with lots of hot girls I’m the sure!
When I was leaving then I went to makeup girl and tell her that I wants to take her out for coffee as thank you to her. She says no need to thanks but I insist. So she say she busy but give me her phone number to call another time! ;) I am the scoring boss! Full day went superb! Only things is that I went home and tried to call number she gave but some old man on the phone was there saying wrong number every time. Dunno why…

Bollywood Star

So plans ka change ho gaya. My photo shoot has postponed for tomorrow. Why I don’t know but its good thing because now this gives me some time to look best. Not that I don’t already come on yaar but looking THE BEST is what I want. So I decided that I would go to parlour to get some things done. See it’s not anything weird that guys also go to parlour. I used to think earlier also same thing but now I think it’s good to look good for girls. Girls take so much trouble, go for eyebrows, waxing and all. So we can also na! I am believing in the equal rights.
So today morning I went to Bollywood Star beauty parlour – it girls boys both can come there. Good name also no? ;) I told guy there that I have portfolio tomorrow and asked what what I should do. So he told to me that I should do full-body waxing, eyebrows and facial also. First I went for waxing. Took clothes off and this guy come inside with pot of hot wax. Shit I think this is like torture yaar. What if I get burns? Anyways if I had got burns it would have been better than the waxing!! How girls do this so many times I don’t know! I thought I was going to die! Shit when he put wax on me and then pulled that strip off I toh started screaming! But then I HAD to do full thing coz how I will go with only 1 patch of clean chest and all other chest is hairy! By time he was finished I was red like tamatar. So much it was hurting.
I got really scared yaar so I didn’t do eyebrows. Chuck it! These girls are mad to do all this so many times. Facial was not bad. He put some fruit thing and all on my face. Bill came to Rs.700. But good part is that I am looking more like Salman bhai now with smooth chests and all. My skin glows like anything. Now I am going to my building gym for good workout and get good night sleep for shoot tom!

Bollywood is Calling!

I told to you some times back that I want to join Bollywood so I can be romancing by beautiful Biapsha, Priyanka, Kareena, Katrina and so many other also. I want to become great actor like Salman Khan. He my favourite actor I told to you. He has everything yaar like great body, great mind, great girls after him also. And he not too proud to travel by rickshaw which I never do because I need AC. Anyways, I was my mummyji was telling to me that if I am serious about my Bollywood dream, then first thing I should do is click damn good portfolio.
So I called to a big photographer who dids work for like different very big magazines and all and I asked him to take my portfolio. Very expensive this is but its ok I am doing it. Watch out Bollywod, DJ is coming to set hearts of girls on fire! Tomorrow he call me for my portfolio shoot so wish me luck!

Psychotic Fantasies….

I was running through the green fields, which had beautiful white and red flowers. As I am running I came closer and closer to Priyanka. She looked like a beautiful fairy in a white sari and was smiling for me. I took for her in my arms and we are both looking into each other’s eyes. I was about to kiss her soft, red lips and then there was a loud noise and I woke up from my dream. Curse the alarm...what a beautiful dream it was, Priyanka Chopra was right there in my arms. Priyanka Chopra is so very beautiful, she has silky hair and very sexy figure, it is best from everyone. I am dreaming about her day and night. I want to make her my raani one day.
She is a famous Bollywood heroine, but my mummy tells I will also one day be a famous hero. And then I will propose for my Priyanka and we will live happily ever after. I love watching her films again and again; she is beautiful and good actress also. She looks very sexy in golden swimsuit and I have put that poster in my room. When she will see me, she will forget all those stupid heroes who are going after her. But when we will be together, I will make her work in films only with me, as I don’t like for anybody to touch her good body. She will one day be only mine. Now I am going to get ready and go and watch my Priyanka Chopra’s new film.

Log on to www.sorryboys.in for all the action on Depso bashing.

At The Mall

Today I have dressed in my best clothes and I am going to the mall with my friends. We are going to mall because lots of girls are hanging out there. So we go to a big mall and are walking around like cool studs. I see some pretty girls in a bookshop and go inside, then I pick some magazines and look through them. In the magazine I am seeing these beautiful models wearing just undergarments. My eyes are getting bigger on seeing this and my breath is coming faster. Then the sales girl in the bookstore is coming by my side and seeing my flushed face. She is looking at the open magazine and then giving me a long, hard stare. The sales girl then asks me, sir are you interested in purchasing this lingerie magazine…I see all the girls around me looking for me in a weird manner and then I quickly say no no and run out of the shop.
Afterwards me and my friends are going to the food court in the mall. There I am seeing this popular television actress sitting on the table next to me. I am so excited to see for her and then I quickly take my cell and try to click her picture, but she is giving me a dirty stare and her boyfriend is coming and telling me not to take her picture. I am quickly saying sorry and putting my cell away. Then I see this beautiful beautiful pari sitting nearby and I want to make her my raani. I decide I will send note with waiter, so I write ‘I am DJ, I think you are very pretty, can I make friendship with you. Can I have your cell number?’ I give note to waiter and tell him to give the girl in red dress, but the stupid fool is giving the note to a fat aunty in red dress instead of my pari. Aunty in red dress is looking at me and coming my way shouting and yelling. I quickly get up and start running.
As I am running, I look at my pari in red and she is looking at me and laughing.

Peeping Tom…

I have been suspended from college for one week for writing love letter to girl in my class. So now my parents are angry with me and I cannot go out of house anywhere. I am thinking what I can do, so I decide I will decorate my room. I am printing beautiful pictures of actresses from the computer and putting on my room walls. I also cut pictures of the ‘mid-day’ mate and put these in my cupboard as mummiji will get angry if she sees. Then I decide to go on computer and go to these chat rooms which my friends are telling me about. My friends are telling I will meet lots of girls here. I am chatting with few girls and they are seeming nice, but after asking few questions about me they are not interested in meeting for me. I tell them please give for me one chance but they are not interested in making friendship with me.
Finally I get fed up with computer and I am sitting near my window. Then suddenly I see the pretty girl who is my neighbor. I have seen for her many times with her boyfriend. She comes and closes her curtain but it is a bit open and I can still see her. She goes to her cupboard and removes new dress that she will be changing into. I know it is wrong to look at girl changing clothes but it is not my fault that she has left curtain little open. I can see her wet hair and she is now in her bathrobe. But then mummiji comes in and asks for me what I am doing, I am getting very nervous and say nothing nothing. But mummiji comes near the window and sees my neighbor. Mummiji is getting very angry with me and gives for me one slap and pulls my ear and drags me away from window. There is big drama in house and mummiji is making me promise that I will never do that again. but I'll tell you more secrets. Just log on to www.sorryboys.in and know more

Love in Class..

Yesterday I am going to the college and sitting for my class. The professor is teaching something, but I am not listening to what he is saying. I am looking at pretty girl sitting two rows in front of me. I am deciding to write love letter to her and tell for her that I am in love with her. So I write…
My dearest Meenal,
You are having so beautiful eyes and they are reminding me of my grandmother’s eyes. They are like two beautiful diamonds and I am getting lost in them often. Your hair is so silky and pretty and I am wanting to play with it forever. You are having such soft and gentle hands and I am wanting to hold these hands forever. You are having good figure and are looking good in all types of clothes.
I am liking you very much and I am hoping that you are also liking me. If you will be my raani, I will do all to make you happy. I will take you in my car, buy you expensive gifts, take you for movies and give you flowers everyday. I will be good boyfriend and we will be happy forever. Please be my raani, I am waiting for your reply soon.
Your DJ always
I am wanting to give letter for her and so I pass it to boy in front and ask him to pass to her. But the professor is turning at that time and taking the letter from me. He is reading the letter in front of whole class and then taking me to principal’s office. The principal is reading my letter, tearing it and then suspending me from college for one week as my punishment. I am sad that my letter has been torn and that I am also suspended from college. Now my raani will never know how I feel.

But to help me out, log on to www.sorryboys.in

My heart sings songs today

Post 8, Jan 29th

Hello again to all,

Today is beautiful day and I will tell my favourite songs to sing for my sapno ki raani…

Some Romeo style songs…

Excuse me…kya re…mera dil tere pe fida re

Tu cheez badi hai mast mast

Jumma Chumma de de

Some questioning songs…

What is your mobile number…what is your smile number?

Choli ke peeche kya hai, chunri ke neeche kya hai?

Oh lal dupatta waali tera naam toh bata?

Some heartbreak songs…

Ab tere bin jeelenge hum…zeher zindagi ka peelenge hum

Dil de diya hai…jaan tumhe denge…daga nahi karenge sanam

Dil mera churaya kyun…why did you break my heart? Why did we fall in love? Why did you go away, away, away?

Some romantic songs

Choo lene do nazuk hoonton ko, kuch aur nahi..

Resham si hai yeh hawaein sanam…aao zara paas aaye sanam

Hum dil chuke sanam, tere hogaye hai hum..teri kasam

Zor ka jhatka...

Hi guys,

Sorry I don’t blog for last 2 days. I am little under weather. I ate bhurji-pau some days back from cart on street and I get pretty bad case of loosies. Every minute I running to toilet. So after 1 day of running like that every time every time, my mother take me to my family doctor for checkups. So I am sitting in the waiting room waiting for my turn, when I see most beautiful girl come inside. She has long hair like Asin, figure like Shilpa Shetty and eyes like Ash. She also with her mother and small brother. She sitting opposite me. I am thinking that small boy is sick as he is coughing lots. I don’t want to get germs so I am covering my nose when he is coughing, but girl is not looking happy at that, so I stop covering nose. Hope he doesn’t have swine flu.

At that moment my mother and her mother start talking and I am thinking this is sign from god in heaven. She is one I am waiting for. Even my mother see it so she is talking also to her mother. I am smiling at her and OMG she smiling at me too! I can’t believe my good lucks! I am sick so I am hoping that I am looking good enough to impress her. I have pocket mirror so when no one is looking, I take out a have a peeksie. Of course I am looking pretty goods yaar! Then bloody nurse calls my name as it is my turn to go inside. I go and doctor examines me and say I have food poisoning and gives me medicine to take. I don’t care now I just want to go back and see my sweetheart.

I go back out and next is her turn. Her mother picks up little brother and she is behind them. I am starting to talk to ask for her number, but at that time little brother says, “Mummy Mummy!!!” to her! OMG! This is not happening. That is not little brother that is little son!! She says then bye for me and goes inside. How can this be? How can my sweetheart have son already? That means she is married lady? It would have been better if she was not married but…actually…it doesn’t make so much of difference. I quite flexible like that. ;)